April

All right! My beloved girlfriends who do read this have told me it's time to update. Thanks to all of you; I feel like there is someone out there who's waiting with me when I know that you are checking this.

So, for many reasons China seems to have decided that the wait time for adoptions should be 12 months. This means that from the official date of their receiving our dossier, we have to wait 12 months before they will send us a referral. When we started this process, we were told 6 months. Everyone was told this no matter what agency - that was standard practice. So December/January is long gone...we now feel fairly sure we will be matched with our child the end of June. The one good thing is that China is now more prosperous as a country and more Chinese are adopting children. This is great news but doesn't do much to make the wait go faster. But more children have families!

So...we wait.

In the meantime, it has been a rollercoaster with many lessons. A few in a nutshell: Enjoy what you have today...do not worry about things you can't control...complaining and unhappiness gets you no where.

That's my update. Not much but there isn't much that's "news worthy" except I now have an I-Pod for the long plane ride and my godchild's name is Charlotte James (not Charlotte Grace as previously erroneously stated)! There, Nollers.
Love,
Whalls

Still in line...

The China Center of Adoption Affairs has sent referrals to families with log-in dates before May26th. The comprises of over 100 American families alone who have been matched with their child. Our dossier remains in this elusive "matching room" and we hope that it is making its way to the top. Our log-in date is 6/29 so we are getting close.
So, in the meantime, today we bought paint. We have some painting to do in the "baby's room" and decided that we should get on with it. Might make the time pass faster.
We have had a great week though with the birth of our friends' 3rd child, a not-so-little girl of 9+lbs, in addition to the first birthday of our godchild, Charlotte Grace. It has been a week of fun celebrating in these events. Soon we know they will celebrate with us!

When We Return Home

Thank you so much for your support and prayers during our adoption process. We appreciate it so much. On the advice of our agency, we're laying the groundwork for after our return from China. Bonding between the child and us is a very important and private thing. The limits we will have to place on how much time she spends with those outside of our household are important and they will be taken very seriously. Our time after we return home will be exclusively about our child. Our complete attention will be focused on her's or his well being. Since that absolutely is the case, we will limit the time we'll be able to have you over at the house until it is best for the baby. We know you've all been waiting to get to know this child just as long as we have, but you will have to wait until it is best for him or her to get to know you. Setting those limits is the responsible thing for us to do as parents. This is a unique situation, one as a family, we're not used to. We have discussed this with many other adoptive parents, read about it in books and talked with our social worker. I know that many of you are parents and have lots of advice and opinions but please recognize that this is a situation that you are not familiar with. We'll be glad to speak with you, to help you understand how the transition may go. It may be the case that she is fine with company; it may be that she is not. We'll see, and we'll definitely let you know when it is possible for you to come over because, of course, we want you to meet our child and begin that lifelong relationship. It may be the case that you come over for a short time and then have to leave, for the benefit of the baby. We'll let you know, and we know you'll understand when we insist. We must do what we can to make the transition for the baby a smooth one. We understand that this may be painful for you, since you've been dying to spend time with her. We apologize in advance for any hurt feelings, but she comes first. Being as wonderful as you are, we're sure you understand. Call with questions.

While we wait...

So during this warmish LONG January, Jim and I have been doing lots of reading. From travel books on China, Chinese history and adoption books, our house has become one big pile of books. We also have watched a few movies on China, both fiction and travel. So far, we recommend "The Lost Girls of China" a book that goes back and forth between a personal adoption story and a factual understanding of China's social policies and also liked "A Traveller's History of China." My next is "Attachment in Adoption." This comes highly reccommended from others who have adopted.

We received a very sweet and thoughtful care package today from Jim's cousin, Christy Spicer. She and her husband recently returned from China with an adopted daughter. They sent us some books, baby medications, a Chinese lullabye CD, DVD's and these sweet little cards to hand out in China. They say "We come to China to adopt a little Chinese girl. We will always love her and will teach her about beautiful China." That script is printed in English and Chinese as well. What a thoughtful gift. Thank you Spicers!

Update!

The CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office in June 2005.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (okay - I added the exclamation points)

Our log-in date with the CCAA is 6/29/05 so that means they have reviewed our dossier and we have moved on to the next pile of folders. Not as monumental perhaps as labor pains but pretty close for us.
Next step is getting the referral. To us, this news means that the CCAA is not slowing down as much as we feared and we might get our referral in March instead of April! Needless to say, we are thrilled. I told Jim that if I checked the CCAA updates every day eventually they would post good news!

Travel Overview

When we go, we will first fly into Bejing and spend 2-3 days there. We will sightsee and adjust to the major time change. After that, we will fly wherever we are directed to get our child. (Until we get the referral, we do not know where this is.) The better part of the week is spent there, dealing with paperwork. Last, we fly to Guangzhou, which is in southern China, close to Hong Kong. This is where the US Consulate is. A physical is done, travel visa acquired and citizenship process is started. We will be there for the better part of a week as well. Often people need to fly to Hong Kong and spend the night there before flying back to the US.

What to Pack???

This weekend I looked over several recommendations of items to pack.
In China, baggage is determined by total weight. We are allowed a whopping total 44 lbs of baggage each. We are told to bring minimal clothing and several people suggested bringing old clothes and leaving them there. Evidently the hotel maids will re-sell or re-use items (good luck with Jim's) and then we free up space for the return trip.

So here is a sample of my 3 page packing list:
zip loc bags of every size
baby nail clippers
instant coffee
every baby medicine imagineable (and a few I'd rather not think about)
rehydration mix
kitchen tongs! (to hold on to bottles in boiling water in hotel room)
plastic bowl, mug and utensils
blow up tub
handheld recorder for taping tourguide
polaroid camera and film to give pictures to our guides
own pillowcases (that you know are clean)
diapers, wipes
variety of baby clothes in different sizes
duct tape
backpack
stainless steel thermos (to carry boiled, safe-to-drink water)
formula
books for us and the baby
toys
and 1 nice baby outfit to wear as we get off the plane

Fortunately, our doctor is great and has said just tell him what we need regarding meds and he will get it.

The most inconsistent item is diapers. Some people say pack enough for the trip and others say pack enough for just the first few days. Guess it depends where we are staying. I think I will pack more rather than less; don't want to run out. But of course, there will be an entire group of us to share items. We all communicate via email so hopefully some of the items we will likely share as a group and save on packing. How much duct tape will we need???

New Year news

Current Baby
Thanks to my sister-in-law, Heidi Jenkins, for the idea of creating a blog. We realize this process is as new to you as it initially was for us and that there are a lot of questions...maybe this can be a means of answering them!

Anyways, when we started this process, the time between log-in-date and referral was 6 months...it is now longer. The log-in-date is when our dossier was officially received and put in line at the China Center of Adoption Affairs. The referral is when you have been matched with a child and receive a picture and any information about him or her.
Our log-in-date was 6/29/05 so we expected to hear in January or February. Now, we are told that we will likely get our referral in March or April. sigh Once the referral is received, you aren't done yet! Next we will get a Travel Invitation and then we can make our plans. People generally travel 6-8 weeks after receiving the referral.

So in short...
log-in-date 6/29/05
expected referral Jan 2006 revised to maybe April 2006
expected travel March revised to perhaps June

In the meantime we are waiting and reading...
I just finished "The Lost Daughters of China" and Jim has completed "A Traveller's History of China." We are starting to "babyproof" the house and checking out sippy cups.

Next time I will share with you our list of things to pack. Not sure how I will fit any clothes in...